Happiness is a Choice

I'm famous for saying this, even though I believe it's an unfair and untrue statement in many cases. In my case, however, I believe it's accurate and something I should repeat to myself more often. Yesterday, I said it for the last time around 2 p.m. and I finally believed it. I pushed the 20-lb chip off my shoulder and decided to get on with things and took care of business. I made a list, checked it twice, and got all the shit done I've been meaning to for a few weeks now that had finally put me in a foul mood around Sunday morning. Well, not everything, but every realistic thing. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so getting everything done would mean I stayed up around the clock for around 2 weeks repainting rooms, making curtains and floor pillows, getting busy with some chalkboard paint, and becoming proficient at a number of things I've never once tried. I got the pressing things done. And that was enough. I feel better and I feel glad to be over it. I can be such a bummer.

Some things that helped:

• Nicky has started throwing things in the toilet when no one is looking. I went to the bathroom and found a couple pieces of Tupperware in there. I think this is hilarious, although this morning I found him trying to store an XBox remote in there. He's figured out two toilet locks so far. He hasn't learned to flush. I put a sign on the bathroom door that reads "Please keep me closed" and chuckled to myself.

• I watched that stupid movie Marley and Me, and, while I dislike the film, I think that there are a few scenes where Jennifer Aniston does a very good impersonation of an over-it Mom who needs a facial and a housekeeper and some new duds and doesn't realize her husband really is trying to help. Misery loves company and it was a nice (in a weird way) reminder that there are plenty of others going through similar struggles, if you will.

• I reasssessed a mandatory trip to my Cambridge office headquarters and decided that, while I will desperately miss my family, it will be a chance to spend the night in a very nice hotel room all by myself. I packed my toe nail polish and running shoes and current read and started looking on the bright side. My boys will be fine.

• I watched that also pretty stupid show On the Road with Mario Batali and Gwenyth Paltrow (the one where they travel all over Spain). They go wine tasting and Gwennie gets pretty toasty during the middle of the day, then the camera crew films her and Mario driving back through the countryside all blissed out and exhausted. It reminded me of 10 lovely days Chris and I spent traveling through Tuscany and that feeling of getting boozy in the afternoon and Chris driving us back through the hills to our villa. I knew there was great food in the future, warm sunshine, and probably a nice nap. I never once had to play D.D. since one would be crazy to trust my driving on those roads. It was a wonderful--and looking back now, completely selfish (in the very best sense)--vacation and it got me thinking about a short trip (just the two of us) to Mexico or California, or maybe even the Williamsburg Inn. Not right away, but sometime soon.