What You'll Learn From the Boda Bean

In desperate need of some humor (a week of sick toddlerness, a conference call currently at 6 hours and counting), I have decided to continue these installments. I give you not what my children will learn from me (which could be equally funny if I gave it a real go), but what they will learn from Boda (a.k.a. the Boda Bean, the Bean, or Bo-Bo). To know her is to love her and all her idosyncracies. She was our dog for 7 years before we had Nicky, but now I'm sure she defines herself as Nicky's dog. When Jack arrives, she will happily become Nicky and Jack's doggie, the boys' doggie, because she was born to be a dog with kids. Call her what you will, she's one in a million.

What You'll Learn From the Boda Bean (A List)

1. How to hold your pee-pee poo-poo for up to 8 hours. Doctors don't recommend this, but your mother really appreciates it and thinks it could be very handy on car trips up north.
2. How to love unconditionally. Lose your temper? Say the wrong thing? Fail a test? Something in your teeth? She cares not. And she always wants a hug.
3. The art of the snuggle. Any time at all. And there is none better.
4. How to love the beach. How to love the sand, the water, the smells, the sticks, the ticks ... note: if you love the beach with an enthusiasm that matches the Bean's, we will only have the energy to take you a couple times a year.
5. How to just be. Want to learn how to lie on a bed for 8 hours without so much as fluttering an eyelid? Take lessons from Bo-Bo.
6. How to get what you want. Never stop whining. Don't relent. Keep your own interests in mind. And you thought that was something you'd learn from mom.
7. If they're not your toys, don't touch 'em. Valuable lesson.
8. Don't let the neighbors' kids put a leash on you. Trust her.
9. Don't trust the vaccuum. And move all your toys when mom's ready to use it.
10. Never eat out of reflective bowls. We just have to take her word for this.
11. Survey the scene. Be cautious. Anticipate danger at every turn (except at the beach). You don't have to take to her level, but a little caution never hurts.
12. Don't stick your head out the window of a moving car. Your head could obviously get knocked off. She is one of the only dogs to recognize this.
13. Don't eat alone. Especially if you have a weight problem.