What I would never want to forget:
- The way Jack smiles at Nicky and just the way he smiles and smiles and smiles. Smiles for miles, that one.
- Strawberry picking with Nicky and his friend. The boys were both carrying their gallon buckets around all by themselves and doing a damn fine job of picking quality berries. The little friend's mom told me she was worried her son would fill his basket with berries, then drop it, then dissolve into tears. She asked me what I thought Nicky would do if that happened. Without hesitating I told her if his berries were to spill, he would squash them, smear the red juice on his face like war paint and go tearing through the berry patch hooting at the top of his lungs.
- My husband, right now, with his boys. I just can't imagine anyone doing it better. Or looking better while doing it.
- Potty training Nicky. The first time he made a brown deposit he jumped up and said "Look, I made a walrus!" He sat back down, made another, and said "Look, a hot dog!" He's doing really well with it.
- Rocking Jack to sleep while listening to Chris give Nicky a bath. The way Jack just turns into me and goes to sleep. Every time, without a fuss. Unbelievable.
- Nicky keeps saying "My penis is getting bigger." Randomly. While riding a bike. While sitting in circle time at school. Upon waking. Wouldn't want to forget that one.
- The other night, when we heard a little thud at 11 p.m. Chris went to check on Nicky and found his face down, passed out on his carpet. He had rolled out of bed (only a couple inches) and never woke up. This from the kid who, just 2 hours earlier, didn't want anything to do with going to sleep. "I don't want to. It's too bad," he had said.
- The way Jack just wakes up with a smile. On his wedding day (or whatever special occassion ... I'm in a hurry) I hope I can remember exactly what it felt like to wake up to a beautiful smiling baby face. Every single morning without fail.
- Lying down to sleep with Nicky the other night, his body went completely limp in about 30 seconds. When I got out of his bed, though, he caught my arm and hugged it back under himself. Then he opened his eyes and smirked at me, let go, and said, "Go to bed, Momma."
- The exhaustion and incredible beauty that is having kids this age and juggling everything else. The messy awesomeness of all of it. The feeling like I could just do a face plant onto the couch and stay there till morning by the time they are both in bed at night and the dishes are done and the multitude of things that need to be done for tomorrow are actually done. I am overwhelmed, but I know that this is the best possible kind of overwhelmed in the world. There will come a day when I know I will yearn for it all over again.
